My interest in psychedelics started about ten years ago. I began to conduct research to deepen my knowledge of so-called \u2018hallucinogenic\u2019 mushrooms. We know that these mushrooms were here on Earth before humanity, and it\u2019s also well-known that pre-Columbia populations used them in their sacred rites. I wanted to explore this past, and so I began to research the prehistory, archaeology, mycology and ethnomycology.<\/p>\n
Prehistoric man had an intimate connection with his environment. There are about 180 species of psilocybe mushrooms distributed across the continents, with the exception of Antarctica. Some prehistorians point out that the first humans knew about modified states of consciousness, and that elements of their rock art, especially the anthropomorphic animal representations, may have been the result of shamanic trances. I’m not saying that these images were necessarily induced by hallucinogenic substances, but I have tried to bridge the gap between these different forms of knowledge. What is certain is that the First People had a more open and spiritual vision of the world than we do. We have a lot to learn from them.<\/p>\n
Over the past ten years, as I have learned more about this medicine, I have also been witness to my mother’s descent into the depths of depression. My mother was diagnosed as bipolar late in life, when she was in her late forties. Bipolarity is an invisible disability, which tends to be downplayed in the lives of those who suffer from it. It is still difficult to pinpoint where bipolar comes from. Genetics is important, as are the memories of certain traumas experienced in early childhood, prior to adolescence, when the first symptoms appear. Mental disorders are also diseases of the soul. So the problem is this complexity of being and also the lack of progress in psychiatry. No substantial discoveries about the illness have been made in the past seventy years. Even now, there is no cure for this multi-factorial (multi-causal) condition, but only partial relief from some of the symptoms.<\/p>\n
As a person who suffers from type 2 bipolar disorder, my mother\u2019s depressive, melancholic cycles have always dominated. Her manic or hypomanic phases were shorter in duration and more easily managed. Growing up with her, I witnessed her mood swings of often extreme amplitude, which could occur on a daily basis. The many pills she had to swallow every day confused her without stabilising her. While there is a range of neuroleptics available in psychiatry to calm the agitation of \u2018up\u2019 phases, there is no medication to correct the \u2018down\u2019 phases and lift the mood, even electroshock does not guarantee anything. My mother’s life deteriorated considerably, leading her further and further into decline. It has been hell. The side effects of the many drugs prescribed to her deteriorated her health, weakening her bones, teeth and immune system, and promoting all forms of allergies. She no longer has any memory or ability to concentrate. I was scared that \u2013 at the very least \u2013 she would end her life in a psychiatric hospital.<\/p>\n
At least 75 percent of bipolar patients end up depressed; they have fewer \u2018up\u2019 moments as they grow older. Even though my mother had never been passive in the face of her illness, even though she had always fought or rather struggled, her social isolation had become inevitable. I could not continue to witness her decay. I had to try to find a solution to see her regain her true face, her personality, her alertness, her culture, her spirituality.<\/p>\n
All this time I was reading books and articles about psychedelic medication, many of them on the subject of psilocybe mushrooms and the ayahuasca plant. I wanted to focus on these tryptamine-analog species because they act as agonists of the 5-HT2A receptor and they are both\u00a0capable of producing profound changes in sensory perception, mood and thought in humans. Psychedelic medicine experienced a major boom in the 1940s and 1950s, and then it was banned. Today, it is in full rebirth. As part of my research I travelled to Peru, to a centre which treats various psychic disorders and addictions through the use of local psychotropic plants. Through my reading, I also learned that research had been conducted in Europe on psilocybin \u2013 an active ingredient of hallucinogenic mushrooms \u2013 working with depressives who are resistant to allopathic treatment. Given that mushrooms have a relatively short action duration, which makes them more manageable in therapy, I thought that they could have potential for my mother.<\/p>\n
Only when I was sure of the therapeutic capacities of these medicines, under the supervision of professionals and specialists, did I discuss the subject with my mother. She was willing, especially since her psychiatrist no longer knew how to help her. I then set out to find a psychiatrist who was familiar with the benefits and use of psilocybin, as well as the medication itself. I went to London to meet the research team at Imperial College, and I subsequently travelled to the University Psychiatric Clinic in Zurich. I learned that the case of bipolar patients was considered complicated, and that no clinical trials had yet been performed. Physicians preferred not to embark on risky experimentation.<\/p>\n
Later, a psychotherapist based in San Francisco put me in touch with a psychiatrist-psychotherapist who had undertaken shamanic training in Mexico among the descendants of the healer Mar\u00eda Sabina. He had been working with hallucinogenic mushrooms as treatment for addiction or depression for a long time. He agreed to look at my mother’s case, even though he had never dealt with anything like that before. To prepare the groundwork, my mother went through a two-year detox, gradually removing all chemical drugs from her body. At the end of this period she was only taking two drugs, in benign doses. After twenty years of daily consumption it was a difficult and painful struggle, despite the psychological support of her therapist. Trust and love kept her going.<\/p>\n
Finally, a first trial was prepared by the doctor. Before that, he wanted to test my mother’s reactions to altered states of consciousness by having her practice holotropic breathing \u2013 an inner exploration technique created by Czech psychiatrist Stanislav Grof, based on the combination of breath-work with adapted musical sequences. My mother responded well: the session was productive enough. That same evening, the first psilocybes were taken, respecting the shamanic protocols of opening, closing and protecting space. The psychotherapist and I had prepared a musical playlist. My mother lay blindfolded, under the supervision of the doctor and his collaborator, who maintained a close connection with my mother throughout the session, which lasted several hours. In spite of a consistent dosage, the results were not spectacular. My mother’s body had not yet completely evacuated the last traces of her psychiatric treatment. After a few months, when she started losing hope, I proposed that she repeat the experience. But again, the results did not live up to our expectations, for the same reasons.<\/p>\n
The detoxification process concluded in a clinic. While she was going through a particularly difficult period, alternating between anguish, deep sorrow, apathy and anhedonia, it seemed to us that it might be useful to repeat the experience at that precise moment. Less than half an hour after the session, we finally had a result!<\/p>\n
Today, my mother is doing well and her condition has improved considerably. We have managed to sustain her progress by setting up a micro-dosing schedule, a prescription that is becoming increasingly widespread, wherein treatment is administered weekly. All my mother\u2019s relatives were and still are surprised to see how stabilized and balanced her mood has become. She herself is surprised to discover that she can cope with the vagaries of daily life without overreacting in one way or another. She has regained a vital momentum that gives her the energy and motivation she needs to rebuild her life and reclaim her social life. Of course, it\u2019s not possible to say that this solution would work for every patient. Each individual is different, and there is still a lack of hindsight and exhaustive tests on the<\/p>\n
different types of bipolar disorder that exist. My goal has never been to proselytize, but simply to share my testimony, recounting this personal experience that has been full of hope and perseverance. This is my mother’s story. Just the story of a human being, of her journey and her subjective truth.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
FR :<\/p>\n
J\u2019ai commenc\u00e9 \u00e0 m\u2019int\u00e9resser aux psych\u00e9d\u00e9liques il y a une dizaine d\u2019ann\u00e9es. J’ai men\u00e9 des recherches pour approfondir mes connaissances sur les champignons dits \u00ab\u00a0hallucinog\u00e8nes\u00a0\u00bb. On sait que les populations pr\u00e9colombiennes notamment utilisaient les champignons hallucinog\u00e8nes pour leurs rites sacr\u00e9s. On sait aussi que ces champignons \u00e9taient l\u00e0, sur Terre, avant nous. J\u2019ai donc souhait\u00e9 explorer ce pass\u00e9, en menant des recherches sur la pr\u00e9histoire, l\u2019arch\u00e9ologie, la mycologie et l’ethnomycologie.<\/p>\n
Les hommes pr\u00e9historiques avaient une connexion intime \u00e0 leur environnement. Il existe environ 180 esp\u00e8ces de champignons psilocybes r\u00e9parties sur tous les continents, except\u00e9s l\u2019Antarctique. Les travaux de certains pr\u00e9historiens pointent que les premiers hommes connaissaient les \u00e9tats modifi\u00e9s de conscience, et qu\u2019une partie de l\u2019art rupestre, notamment les repr\u00e9sentations animales anthropomorphes, \u00e9taient peut-\u00eatre le fruit de transes chamaniques. Je ne dis pas qu\u2019elles \u00e9taient forc\u00e9ment induites par des substances hallucinog\u00e8nes, mais j\u2019ai aim\u00e9 faire le pont entre ces diff\u00e9rentes connaissances. Les peuples premiers avaient une vision du monde plus ouverte et plus spirituelle que la n\u00f4tre. Nous avons des choses \u00e0 apprendre d\u2019eux.<\/p>\n
Au cours des derni\u00e8res ann\u00e9es, en apprenant de plus en plus sur cette m\u00e9decine, j\u2019ai assist\u00e9 \u00e0 la chute continuelle de ma m\u00e8re dans les profondeurs de la d\u00e9pression. Ma m\u00e8re a \u00e9t\u00e9 diagnostiqu\u00e9e bipolaire tardivement, alors qu\u2019elle approchait la quarantaine. La bipolarit\u00e9 est un handicap invisible, dont on a tendance \u00e0 minimiser l\u2019impact sur la vie de ceux qui en souffrent. C\u2019est encore difficile \u00e0 cerner comment la bipolarit\u00e9 se d\u00e9clare. La g\u00e9n\u00e9tique a son importance, de m\u00eame que la m\u00e9moire de certains traumatismes v\u00e9cus lors de la petite enfance, jusqu\u2019\u00e0 l\u2019adolescence, quand les premiers sympt\u00f4mes apparaissent. Les troubles mentaux sont aussi des maladies de l\u2019\u00e2me. Ils nous interrogent sur la complexit\u00e9 de l\u2019\u00eatre et les progr\u00e8s de la psychiatrie, o\u00f9 rien de substantiel n\u2019a \u00e9t\u00e9 d\u00e9couvert depuis soixante-dix ans. On ne sait pas encore gu\u00e9rir cette pathologie aux causes multiples, mais seulement apaiser partiellement certains de ses sympt\u00f4mes.<\/p>\n
Par son g\u00e9notype\u00a0de type 2, les cycles d\u00e9pressifs, voire m\u00e9lancoliques, de ma m\u00e8re ont toujours domin\u00e9.\u00a0Ses phases maniaques ou hypomaniaques, elles, \u00e9taient de plus courte dur\u00e9e, et plus facilement g\u00e9r\u00e9es. Ayant grandi \u00e0 ses c\u00f4t\u00e9s, j\u2019ai \u00e9t\u00e9 t\u00e9moin de ses variations d\u2019humeur d\u2019une amplitude souvent extr\u00eame, qui pouvaient survenir d\u2019un jour \u00e0 l\u2019autre. La quantit\u00e9 de pilules qu\u2019elle avalait chaque jour brouillait son esprit, sans la stabiliser. S\u2019il existe en psychiatrie de nombreux neuroleptiques pour calmer l\u2019agitation des phases \u00ab up \u00bb, il n\u2019existe aucun m\u00e9dicament pour corriger les phases \u00ab down \u00bb et remonter l\u2019humeur\u00a0; m\u00eame les \u00e9lectrochocs ne garantissent rien. La vie de ma m\u00e8re s\u2019est consid\u00e9rablement d\u00e9grad\u00e9e, jusqu\u2019\u00e0 la mener de plus en plus bas. C\u2019\u00e9tait un enfer. Les effets secondaires des nombreuses drogues qui lui \u00e9taient prescrites d\u00e9gradaient de plus en plus sa sant\u00e9, fragilisant ses os, ses dents, son syst\u00e8me immunitaire, et favorisaient toute forme d\u2019allergie. Elle n\u2019avait plus aucune m\u00e9moire ni capacit\u00e9 de concentration. Je craignais \u2013 a minima \u2013 qu\u2019elle termine sa vie en psychiatrie.<\/p>\n
Au moins trois-quarts des bipolaires finissent d\u00e9pressifs\u00a0; ils n\u2019ont pratiquement plus de moments \u00ab\u00a0up\u00a0\u00bb en vieillissant. M\u00eame si ma m\u00e8re n\u2019a jamais \u00e9t\u00e9 passive face \u00e0 sa maladie, m\u00eame si elle s\u2019est toujours battue ou plut\u00f4t d\u00e9battue, son isolement social \u00e9tait devenu in\u00e9vitable. Je ne pouvais continuer \u00e0 assister \u00e0 sa d\u00e9ch\u00e9ance. Je devais essayer de trouver une solution pour la voir retrouver son vrai visage, sa personnalit\u00e9, sa vivacit\u00e9 d\u2019esprit, sa culture, sa spiritualit\u00e9.<\/p>\n
Pendant tout ce temps, je lisais des livres et des articles sur la medecine psych\u00e9d\u00e9lique, dont beaucoup sur le sujet des champignons et de l\u2019ayahuasca. J’ai voulu me concentrer sur ces esp\u00e8ces tryptaminiques parce qu’elles agissent comme agonistes du r\u00e9cepteur 5-HT2A et qu’elles sont toutes deux capables de produire de profonds changements dans la perception sensorielle, l’humeur et la mani\u00e8re de pens\u00e9e. La m\u00e9decine psych\u00e9d\u00e9lique a connu un essor important dans les ann\u00e9es 1940-1950, puis elle a \u00e9t\u00e9 interdite. Elle est aujourd\u2019hui en pleine renaissance. Dans le cadre de mes recherches, je me suis rendu notamment au P\u00e9rou, dans un centre pr\u00e9sid\u00e9 par Jacques Mabit, qui soigne diff\u00e9rents troubles psychiques et addictions par l\u2019usage de plantes psychotropes locales. En me documentant, j\u2019ai aussi appris que des recherches avaient \u00e9t\u00e9 men\u00e9es en Europe sur la psilocybine \u2013 le principe actif des champignons hallucinog\u00e8nes. Plusieurs protocoles ont \u00e9t\u00e9 exp\u00e9riment\u00e9s sur des d\u00e9pressions r\u00e9sistantes \u00e0 tout traitement allopathique. \u00c9tant donn\u00e9 que les champignons ont une dur\u00e9e d’action relativement courte, ce qui les rend plus g\u00e9rable en th\u00e9rapie, j’ai pens\u00e9 qu’ils pouvaient \u00eatre efficace pour ma m\u00e8re.<\/p>\n
Apr\u00e8s m\u2019\u00eatre assur\u00e9 de leur potentiel dans le cadre d\u2019une utilisation th\u00e9rapeutique encadr\u00e9e par des professionnels et sp\u00e9cialistes, j\u2019ai abord\u00e9 le sujet avec ma m\u00e8re. Elle s\u2019est montr\u00e9e partante, d\u2019autant plus que son psychiatre ne savait plus comment l\u2019aider. Je me suis alors mis en qu\u00eate d\u2019un psychiatre qui connaissait aussi bien les b\u00e9n\u00e9fices et l\u2019usage de la psilocybine que les m\u00e9dicaments. Je suis all\u00e9 \u00e0 Londres rencontrer Robin Carhart-Harris, David Nutt et toute l\u2019\u00e9quipe de recherche de l\u2019Imperial College, puis \u00e0 la Clinique psychiatrique universitaire de Zurich, rencontrer le Dr Franz Vollenweider. J\u2019ai appris que le cas des bipolaires \u00e9tait compliqu\u00e9, et qu\u2019aucun test clinique n\u2019avait \u00e9t\u00e9 pratiqu\u00e9. Ils ont pr\u00e9f\u00e9r\u00e9 ne pas risquer une exp\u00e9rimentation.<\/p>\n
Via le contact d\u2019une psychoth\u00e9rapeute install\u00e9e \u00e0 San Francisco, j\u2019ai pu \u00eatre mis en relation avec un psychiatre-psychoth\u00e9rapeute qui avait suivi une formation chamanique au Mexique aupr\u00e8s des descendants de la gu\u00e9risseuse Maria Sabina, et travaillait depuis longtemps avec les champignons hallucinog\u00e8nes pour des probl\u00e8mes d\u2019addiction ou de d\u00e9pression. Il a accept\u00e9 de se pencher sur le cas de ma m\u00e8re, m\u00eame si c\u2019\u00e9tait une grande premi\u00e8re. Pour pr\u00e9parer le terrain, ma m\u00e8re a men\u00e9 pendant deux ans un sevrage, une d\u00e9tox, en supprimant progressivement toute chimie de son organisme. Au bout de cette p\u00e9riode, elle ne prenait plus que deux m\u00e9dicaments, \u00e0 des doses b\u00e9nignes. Apr\u00e8s vingt ans de consommation quotidienne, ce fut un combat difficile et douloureux, malgr\u00e9 le soutien psychologique de son th\u00e9rapeute. La confiance et l\u2019amour l\u2019ont fait tenir bon.<\/p>\n
Enfin, un premier essai a \u00e9t\u00e9 programm\u00e9 par le m\u00e9decin. Avant celui-ci, il a souhait\u00e9 tester les r\u00e9actions de ma m\u00e8re face aux \u00e9tats modifi\u00e9s de conscience, en lui faisant pratiquer une s\u00e9ance de respiration holotropique \u2013 une technique d\u2019exploration int\u00e9rieure bas\u00e9e sur la combinaison d\u2019un travail sur le souffle et de s\u00e9quences musicales adapt\u00e9es, cr\u00e9\u00e9e par le psychiatre tch\u00e8que Stanislav Grof. Elle a tr\u00e8s bien r\u00e9agi\u00a0; la s\u00e9ance fut suffisamment productive. Le soir m\u00eame, a donc eu lieu la premi\u00e8re prise de psilocybes, dans le respect des protocoles chamaniques d\u2019ouverture, de fermeture et de protection de l\u2019espace. Le psychoth\u00e9rapeute et moi avions pr\u00e9par\u00e9 la playlist musicale indispensable \u00e0 chaque introspection. Ma m\u00e8re \u00e9tait allong\u00e9e les yeux band\u00e9s, sous l\u2019\u00e9troite surveillance du m\u00e9decin et de sa collaboratrice, qui sont rest\u00e9s en totale connexion avec ma m\u00e8re pendant toute la s\u00e9ance, qui dura plusieurs heures. Malgr\u00e9 un dosage cons\u00e9quent, le r\u00e9sultat n\u2019a pas \u00e9t\u00e9 spectaculaire. L\u2019organisme de ma m\u00e8re n\u2019avait pas encore totalement \u00e9vacu\u00e9 les derni\u00e8res traces de son traitement psychiatrique. Apr\u00e8s quelques mois, alors qu\u2019elle commen\u00e7ait \u00e0 perdre un peu espoir, je lui ai propos\u00e9 de renouveler l\u2019exp\u00e9rience. Mais l\u00e0 encore, les r\u00e9sultats n\u2019ont pas \u00e9t\u00e9 \u00e0 la hauteur de nos attentes, pour les m\u00eames raisons.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/strong>Elle a finalis\u00e9 sa d\u00e9toxication en clinique. Alors qu\u2019elle traversait une p\u00e9riode particuli\u00e8rement difficile, alternant angoisses, profond chagrin d\u2019apathie et d\u2019anh\u00e9donie, il nous a sembl\u00e9 utile de renouveler l\u2019exp\u00e9rience \u00e0 ce moment pr\u00e9cis. Moins d\u2019une demi-heure apr\u00e8s la prise, on tenait enfin un premier r\u00e9sultat !<\/p>\n Aujourd\u2019hui ma m\u00e8re va de mieux en mieux, son \u00e9tat s\u2019est consid\u00e9rablement am\u00e9lior\u00e9.<\/p>\n Nous avons mis en place un planning de micro-dosing, un protocole de plus en plus r\u00e9pandu, consistant \u00e0 administrer le traitement chaque semaine. Tous ses proches ont \u00e9t\u00e9 tr\u00e8s surpris de constater \u00e0 quel point son humeur \u00e9tait stabilis\u00e9e, \u00e9quilibr\u00e9e. C\u2019est encore le cas aujourd\u2019hui. Elle-m\u00eame est surprise de d\u00e9couvrir qu\u2019elle peut g\u00e9rer tous les al\u00e9as de la vie quotidienne sans sur-r\u00e9agir d\u2019une fa\u00e7on ou d\u2019une autre. Elle retrouve un \u00e9lan vital qui lui apporte l\u2019\u00e9nergie et la motivation dont elle a besoin pour refaire sa vie et renouer avec une vie sociale.<\/p>\n Bien entendu, il n’est pas possible de dire que cette solution fonctionnerait pour chaque patient. Chaque individu est diff\u00e9rent, et l\u2019on manque encore de recul et de tests exhaustifs sur les diff\u00e9rents types de bipolarit\u00e9. Mon but n\u2019a jamais \u00e9t\u00e9 de faire du pros\u00e9lytisme mais simplement d\u2019apporter mon t\u00e9moignage, en relatant cette exp\u00e9rience personnelle pleine d\u2019espoir et de pers\u00e9v\u00e9rance. C\u2019est juste l\u2019histoire de ma m\u00e8re. Juste l\u2019histoire d\u2019un \u00eatre, de sa qu\u00eate et de sa v\u00e9rit\u00e9 subjective.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My interest in psychedelics started about ten years ago. I began to conduct research to deepen my knowledge of so-called \u2018hallucinogenic\u2019 mushrooms. We know that these mushrooms were here on Earth before humanity, and it\u2019s also well-known that pre-Columbia populations used them in their sacred rites. I wanted to explore this past, and so I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1251","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1251","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1251"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1274,"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1251\/revisions\/1274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mathiasdelattre.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}